Yesterday when I picked the kids up from school, my oldest son (6th grader) hops in the car and says, "another girl asked for my cell number." I inquired as to who this girl was and did he give the number to her. Apparently, as these things are done in middle school (and have been since the dawn of time), she asked a friend to get his number for her . . . *sigh*, one day they will realize the direct approach works so much better, but alas, that is a long way down the road. So, her friend, being the great friend that she is, gave my sons cell number to her. Matt and I had a quick little joking dialogue about him being a ladies man ~~~ he fully supported the idea, and then the car filled with the rest of the kids. To be continued . . . .
When we got home from dropping the other kids off at home, there was a message from one of Matts friends asking if he wanted to go to a volleyball game with him that night. Of course Matt wanted to go. I told him to make sure he had his wallet and his cell phone with him, to which he raced upstairs to get. He comes downstairs and his cell phone is pinging off the hook. Oh man, it's starting!!! He tells me that he is going to wait outside for his friend . . . it's really warm outside, but, okay. After about 30 minutes his friend calls to say that they will be at the house in 10 minutes...when I go outside to tell Matt, I notice he is, 1: red-faced with sweat dripping down his face (yuck) and 2: texting. When I ask him who he is texting he tells me it's the girl who wanted his number. I asked him, "What is she texting you? Her undying love and devotion?" (I was joking, btw). He replies, "Pretty much."
Uh-oh.
I told him that no matter what is being said he is to treat her kindly. He promised me that he was and would continue to do so. Then his friend pulled up and he was off.
When he got home last night, as he was heading upstairs to bed, I asked for his phone with every intention of checking the texts. I have heard some horror stories about what the young kids today will text to one another -- it is astonishing. And I am not going to be a naive Mom who doesn't believe her child will fall into that kind of nonsense, plain and simple.
All the texts were as innocent as I would hope, but this is the thing. I remember being in jr. high and hearing about some girl who had "gone all the way" or kids who drank/smoked, etc...and they were to be avoided. This day in age, it seems that it is the kids who aren't doing those things that are getting the cold-shoulder or made fun of. How have we turned ourselves around so much? My child is only 12! That is so young. I know they won't be innocent forever, but goodness, I sure want them innocent as long as possible.
We still monitor what they watch on tv and the internet and I don't think of that as strict, but more, just good parenting. I want my children to be able to come to me and tell me anything, I really do, but I am not after being my kids' friend.....you know what I mean!? At the end of the day, my sole purpose in life is to raise good boys who will become good and honorable men. If I screw that up, I've screwed everything up.
Time to get off my soapbox, eh.
I was laying down on Matts bed prior to tucking he and his brother in and we were talking about the texts that I read and the "relationship" that was budding. I told him that it didn't matter how young they were and what kind of "relationship" he and this girl were going to have (I well remember jr. high love...it's so dramatic and usually innocent, lol), that he needed to walk softly with her (and every other girl, for that matter), to treat her kindly and with respect. He seemed to know what I was talking about as he kept assuring me that he would...then I laid my head down and said, "I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready for this at all." Matt laughed, put his hand on my head and said, "it's just proof that you are getting older, that's all." What a little shite!
At the end of the day the only thing I know is that this train is going to keep on rolling down the line....can't stop the growing up anymore than I could hold back the tides, but I do know that, while I trust my children and believe they deserve some privacy, I WILL be the snoopy Mom who reads texts messages, goes through closets and drawers, rifles through backpacks, etc...
Why? Because I'm a Mom and that is what Moms do!!
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