We're in for it now....

Oh boy. Maybe starting up a blog page wasn't such a good idea after all, lol. The chance to have a place to go to with a constant stream of consciousness is very tempting. But I have to share this. I can't be the only one who experienced this.....

After WEEKS of not taking my pups on their morning walk, I finally decided that today would be the day I got back into it. Yea for me, right? Right! So, I put their pinch collars on (they are Siberian Huskies who think of me as their own personal sled to pull...I'm not, by the way), latched their leash joiner, grabbed the poop bags, stuck my ipod earbuds in and away we went. It was a lovely morning for a walk. The clouds were bunching up as they do here in Eastern North Carolina, puffy white clouds mixed with gray storm clouds. It's really very pretty how it looks, but it spells one thing -- HUMIDITY. But the morning wasn't too bad. Well, for me it wasn't too bad, the pups may have a different take on it, what with all that fur they have.

So we set off on the walk path and wouldn't you know it, they were behaving! They never do, but for some reason this morning they were. THANK YOU!! It wasn't very long (long enough that I was nowhere near my house) before I realized the two poop bags might not be enough. I sent up a prayer that we would make it. I hate the idea of being "THE ONE" who doesn't adequately pick up after their dogs, you know?! It's just bad manners. Anyway, we made it to the first water faucet alright -- they had some water and off we went. By the second water faucet (2 miles) we were doing pretty good. I had the one poop bag left. I didn't want to chance it so we turned around and headed home. Now, I have to tell you that at this time my poor pups look very hot. Their tongues were lolling out of their mouths, they weren't trying to pull me, and they were WALKING....just a little background on my dogs ~~ they don't like to walk. They like to run. A little background on me....I don't run. We often disagree and end up wogging..it's the only concession I will make to their infernal need to move quickly.

What's wogging, you ask? It's a walk/jog. It's as fast as I will go.

Just as soon as we turned back, Loki, my lovable male pup, took his second bathroom break of the walk. Freya, sweet little love-kin that she is, had yet to need the pit-stop. It was obvious to me that Loki had some, um, stomach issues, but I did what all good pet owners do, and I used the bag to pick up after him.

Second bag used up. Shoot! Please, please, please, don't have any more stops!!!

Oh the fates are funny, aren't they. Of course we all know that the two bags wouldn't be enough! But that isn't the point of this story. No. It's not.

So when Loki stopped for a THIRD time, there were some very noticeable issues. Heaven knows just what the hell that dog ate, some plastic bag, some part of the rug, I don't know, but suffice to say, it was hanging out of his butt. He is twirling around like a dervish trying to get it off of him. I'm trying to force his butt on the ground while rubbing it back and forth, hoping the friction will break the contact. Freya is as unconcerned by the goings on as can possibly be and is doing her best to wrap around my legs. Loki is trying to get away from me. I have a poop bag swinging alarmingly close to my face. And there is still something hanging off of Loki's butt.

Dear dog. Are you kidding me!

Back and forth across the walk path we go -- Freya tangled up in my legs, Loki maddened by the horror of the dangling dingle-berry, and I, I am trying to keep my balance, not get a face full of bagged poo, all the while trying to help poor Loki.

I grab a stick and use that to try to break the hanging dingleberry. FAIL! I grab a pine cone, of which there are a great many around. FAIL! Why I thought that would work is beyond me. I contemplate a leaf but can't find one substantial enough (I do not want whatever the hell is hanging out of his butt touching my hand!). Stumped, I stand there for a bit. I finally register the poop bag dangling limp in my hand.

*sigh*

Grabbing Loki by the tail (dog lovers DO NOT judge me...there was not other option!), I used the loose portion of the bag to grab whatever the hell it was that was hanging out of his butt and pulled. OH MY GOSH! Even in re-typing this, I am gagging. It was long, it was slimy green. It was foul!!! And when it broke off, I saw that there was more waiting in the wings......ack! Are you kidding me!! Nooooooooo ~~

Not that I can stop or pause what nature intends to occur, but I tell you what, I untangled myself from Freya, turned Loki around and we hustled ourselves home. I did NOT want to encounter another hanging dingle-berry with naught at my disposal but my hand...NO!That was not going to happen!!

We did make it home without another incident but I can safely say that both Loki and I were traumatized by the entire event. Freya, well, Freya could care less what happened. She was just glad to be home.

That's what I get for taking them for a 4 mile wog without enough bags!

Lessons learned, people. Lessons learned ~~~~